


Fine Fereldan Imports, Direct From a Dumpster Fire

by withthebreezesblown



Series: Only When You Fall [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH, Champion Armor, Gen, it's so ugly, pure ridiculousness, so so ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 00:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18884602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withthebreezesblown/pseuds/withthebreezesblown
Summary: In Lirene's Fereldan Imports, Hawke falls in love... with the ugliest set of armor she's ever set eyes on. Carver is not impressed.Inspired by a mod to get the Champion Armor at the start of the game, because it's hideous, and I adore it.





	Fine Fereldan Imports, Direct From a Dumpster Fire

The moment her eyes land on the armor hanging in the shop where they’ve come to track down rumors of a Grey Warden, her face lights up. The closer she examines it, the more her excitement grows, until she turns to face her brother, tugging on the leg of the armor as she turns so that it’s draped awkwardly across her body as she gives him a grin so delighted it must look a little deranged.

Carver actually grimaces, head shaking in horror. “No. That’s atrocious.”

Still giving her her wide, manic grin, she rubs her face along the fur ruff at the collar and whispers, “ _Look at it_ ,” drawing the words out with a hiss.

“I’m looking. It’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. And also, people here might think that looks like a legitimate Fereldan import, but I can assure you that was not made by anyone _Fereldan_. Possibly an Orlesian circus clown doing an impression of a Fereldan.”

“But look…” She’s still speaking in a crazed whisper. “Look at the fur. Look at this oversized splash guard or whatever the fuck this metal thing is. Look at this random piece of chain mail hanging out over here. _Look at it_.”

“It’s literally the ugliest armor I have ever set eyes on.”

She beams at him. “I know. I _want_ it” She draws the a in want out into a pitiful plea.

“If they’re willing to pay some lunatic to get that monstrosity out of here fine. But there’s no way you’re spending our money–our _expedition_ money!–on that.”

Her head lists to the side, eyes still maniacally wide. “But I could be Queen of the Dog Lords.”

Carver’s expression is becoming truly desperate. “Oh, come on, Marian. Even you can’t have taste that bad. It’s so ugly it’s offensive.”

“Yes.” She strokes the leg slowly. “Yes, it is. I love it so.”

He just shakes his head in disgusted defeat. “Well, then it hardly matters if we can scrape fifty sovereigns together, anyway. You’ll have gotten us stoned to death by actual Fereldans who assume you’re mocking them before the expedition even leaves.”

He may have a point if the group waiting outside Lirene’s is anything to go by, though they’re there about their Warden healer, not her armor. _Really_ , she thinks as she stands back, stroking the fur of her new armor adoringly as her hot-headed brother somehow actually calms the crowd in front of them, _that could have gone so much worse_. “You know that only worked because they were distracted by me. I mean, I am a glory to behold right now.”

For a man who just stopped a fight, Carver looks remarkably like he’d like to punch something.


End file.
